tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90125312011-12-29T00:52:14.207-06:00Omaha Poet with a Face Full of Metal!Originally, I thought I was going to talk about life, Omaha, Poetry, HIV, being "special", and surviving the 1980's with only a blown-out set of "gaydar." But now I seemed to have just gone to babblings and poetry.Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.comBlogger621100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-27507738030308930182011-12-29T00:52:00.001-06:002011-12-29T00:52:14.238-06:00This is how we learn to cope Well, I am back in the hospital yet again (this time I have been here since the the Thursday before Christmas) for the same the same thing as all the the other times, with a dash of the trots to make things really pathetic. There is talk of surgically removing the abscess in my lungs. When it rains, it coughs up blood.Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1093445558599817932011-11-17T16:54:00.001-06:002011-11-17T16:54:25.763-06:00I am in the ER now. More later.Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-89360998434425406092011-11-13T00:55:00.001-06:002011-11-13T00:55:40.227-06:00Miracles on Karl Street. . .I have now moved. Hence, all the changes. Many things and people have helped worked in my favor while I was hospitalized twice and had to live with my parents for a month and a half!
As soon as I have got myself more organized, I shall ad names to go with my gratitude and thanks.Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-43951390620649061002011-08-25T02:54:00.000-05:002011-08-25T02:54:03.998-05:00This is how I can cope. I am sorry that I am not online enough, but I need to tell you that I am just now getting out of a ten year relationship. Chris always promised me that he would talk to me before he decided to end things, and I promised to never, ever cheat (basically have sex without him around, and then not tell him). We had our ups and downs. Most of the downs were mine. I have been HIV+ for almost twenty Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-6518551039738803302011-08-04T16:24:00.002-05:002011-08-04T16:25:26.685-05:00The early days of August, 2011Been a relatively quiet few days here in Rancho de Loaners. I even got a chance to write a poem. Now, I know I am very rusty, and today I am thankful no one reads this blog. so here we go, true believers:
UNTITLED
After one too many funerals
or whispered clippings
found in the back pages
of the afternoon paper
it's like the blood has started
to dry on my hands
as the memories,
and the guilt
Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-65315210309874968452011-07-06T02:04:00.001-05:002011-07-06T02:04:05.274-05:00The Night After The Damn Verdict!!! I almost dropped a full-on load this afternoon when I got hit by that "NOT GUILTY" verdict that came down like a pipe on my head in the form of a newsbreak on my bedroom television. Just what the frigging HELL were those shipped-in Tampa residents watching for a month and a half anyways, Monty Python's Flying Circus episodes?!What really bothers me is the new messages this ruling now sends like,Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-59897511416008115252011-06-09T13:53:00.000-05:002011-06-09T13:53:38.968-05:00Today, I have learned, much to my horror, that I an yet another victim of the iPad/Flash adobevwar. Now I can blog and use all the bells and whistles only if I use the standing Maccs, like my desktop or laptop, but not on my spanking new iPad so a big blaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh to all you Computer big-wigs and corporate geeks!!Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-63668561106823116072011-01-05T05:28:00.001-06:002011-01-05T05:28:35.083-06:00Aren't I the dedicated one?Wow and Begorah True Believers!!It has been over 6 months since my last post. Well, I am alive, though I had the usual poking and prodding. I will try so hard to be better, and I really want to thank everyone at BLOGGER for not dumping me. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhoneLocation:Frances St,Omaha,United StatesBrian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-41090640216496138632010-07-21T09:42:00.000-05:002010-07-21T09:43:20.253-05:00Today, l think there is something missing- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhoneBrian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-71590006276545107752010-07-07T03:28:00.000-05:002010-07-07T03:29:19.363-05:00I wonder of anyone has bought my new book (LEAVENWORTH STREET) yet I have not been " doing good" lately, but I found a program that will help me change the damn website (brianbengtson.com) and I really need to do that. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhoneBrian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-71800139183550577812010-02-14T03:11:00.000-06:002010-02-14T03:12:13.683-06:00Late night Saturday, watching anime.Currently, I am trying another in the never ending cycle of antidepressants. Do not ask me the name of this little sliver of a pill, but I do know that at one time it was used for thyroid problems. I really hope this one works. Maybe I will be able to finally get back into my life of writer. At least I will be able to show some work that is somewhat new. Right now I can wave my new book in Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-57469533902163762122009-12-22T10:05:00.000-06:002009-12-22T10:06:25.544-06:00Finally!!!!Well fear fans, as I have promised, my new book of Poetryhas been released through the good people at The Backwaters Press. It is entitled LEAVENWORTH STREET, and features poetry that has never been published!! Look for it on Amazon &/or Barnes and Noble. I hope you all will enjoy!!- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhoneLocation:My living roomBrian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-78854120657502954572009-12-08T18:57:00.000-06:002010-02-14T03:16:37.364-06:00Guess what?My newest book of poetry is now available through the usual sources. It is entitled LEAVENWORTH STREET and is published by The Bacwaters Press. As soon as I can get someone to help me upgrade my webpage, things will be a bit simpler. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhoneLocation:S 34th St,Omaha,United StatesBrian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-34037242560743620012009-11-23T15:05:00.001-06:002009-11-23T15:05:28.255-06:00Monday morning/afternoonI think I am failing at this Twitter thing, just like the way I keep up with this blog. Are you expected to read ALL of the "tweets," downloaded to me AND come up with as many of my own as I can?I can barely keep with reading of comic books and discovering new channels on digital cable!! I always thought that I was this cosmo-future-techno type guy, but now I wonder. - Posted using BlogPress fromBrian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-63644988016531096452009-11-22T15:22:00.001-06:002009-11-22T15:22:23.091-06:00Maybe this will work. . .If this program works as well as the blurb says it does, maybe all these struggles and whiny excuses will finally end.- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhoneBrian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-26931851063641291492009-09-16T09:53:00.010-05:002009-09-16T17:46:50.009-05:00Memories of 9/11 and MikelI tried to tell this story over in Twitter-land, but 140 characters just would not do it.Since the "anniversary" of 9/11, I have been flashing back to this one central chunk of memory:The day after the towers fell, I went to visit my best friend, Mikel, who was in hospice care after fighting the "good fight" with HIV and AIDS. There were so many times that we all thought we were going to lose himBrian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-69449716627143384932009-08-15T11:57:00.003-05:002009-08-15T12:06:22.905-05:00An old Poem, but I still like it.This is probably somewhere in here, but I got a request:Also, my NEW book, LEAVENWORTH STEET, will be out in the next two months!!!!!! Will have more info as it comes. . . .Back to the poem!A Letter to Neil Dear Mr. Gaiman: Thank you for your gift of the Sandman. Your stories have changed me; now I see us all as anthologies, collections of tales threaded together. I am sure I have my own wing in Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-35806378281606155702009-07-27T16:31:00.001-05:002009-07-27T16:32:43.010-05:00Guess What?Keep watching this space, fear fans, cuz soon there will be some new and exciting news floatng your way!!!!!!Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-29558070433967950972009-07-07T13:08:00.002-05:002009-07-07T13:13:34.801-05:00Slowly, and I hope "but surely," the fog is lifting, and I think I can keep my attention apan going to attempt some poetry.Maybe t is due to the fact that my third book is coming out. If you have read this blog before, you may recognize some of the poems in it, but now you can have a hardcover copy (with some really cool artwork too!).More later.Hope all is well with you and yours, and thanks forBrian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-60184211925015388832008-12-23T02:25:00.005-06:002008-12-23T02:33:31.257-06:00Well, I guess this is going to be my way of trying something new. I do not know if I am ready to go "all video" yet, but I might go half and half.my foot is getting worse, and I am putting off calling off anyone, because I still do not think anyone cares.Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-10942858353900854432008-12-11T03:16:00.004-06:002008-12-11T03:30:38.642-06:00March 10Th, Jesus Christ. If I was a bowel movement, there would already be some kind of procedure to remove an obstructruction!!!This blog, like so much of other parts of my life, could have been so much more.I really hate these three-thirty a-m pity nights that keep you awake when you know you did everything right. . .Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-15815418170427833552008-03-09T23:50:00.013-05:002008-05-26T20:15:09.671-05:00Fighting ThroughI am still locked in this battleof scrapingout a life while trying to fold inalmost 20-different medications;some to keep back a 17 year olddance with the diseasea few still call a cleansing act from Godto weed out the Forsaken,capsules to help stop the shakes,nerve damage, muscle atrophy and traffic pile-up stabbingsof painleft over as I moved from pill to pill(some say),or the virus has Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-91047510498556713812008-02-27T15:49:00.003-06:002008-03-09T23:50:30.093-05:00Another Damn Season!Another damn season haas gone past me, and instead of pining all melancholy-like, and scribble about aborted poetic images lying strung around me like some DC supervillan right before a miracle save knocks him on his ass.Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-90952813515718719172007-11-02T21:21:00.000-05:002007-11-07T15:49:37.916-06:00I cannot think of any real sort of half-way normal title.I swear to God that I did not see the leaveschange to that festival of colors my imagination would wait foruntil I watched the Peanuts show this Halloween.Is that bad?Does that mean that Fall is tripping upand fading awayor are the drugs just making me lazy?Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-87550389675692417932007-08-27T12:04:00.000-05:002007-08-27T12:13:37.724-05:00This Is A TestBrian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-20563640262225239022007-07-13T10:59:00.000-05:002007-08-27T12:02:44.844-05:00Too many months now. .I have felt like I am scratching my way out of some cage. . Whether that is a cell made out of the newest pharmaceuticals, or a cage of disease, maybe even that pit of fear the cliche-makers always skitter about. . .My sleep is so scattered, and now it is the end of August. Another season has passed by without any poetry; without an account on how Nature has touched the things and people and Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-71303901017608857962007-05-29T20:51:00.000-05:002007-05-30T01:39:36.145-05:00The Time Has Come. . .During the past couple of months, I have been getting some answers from all these medical tests (MRI, X-RAYS, you know the drill) I have sat through. It seems that my early years of HIV are again coming back to haunt me. . .During my first three to four years of being positive, I volunteered for a few drug studies as my way of helping "make a difference" (and since the various drug companies wereBrian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-11628521146637319132007-05-02T12:29:00.000-05:002007-05-02T20:23:19.390-05:00UGH!!!I am getting so damn frustrated trying to figure out how to either send Rosie the damn poem, or find out if she got it and just does not have the time to write back to everyone she gets something from. I know things are tough all over, and she has a plateful of things too, but geez. . . . And here I am acting like she has a duty or something.But really, I just want to know if she liked it.Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-11674422736998027762007-04-30T09:53:00.000-05:002007-04-30T16:07:39.984-05:00By the way. . . .I really hope she reads the preceeding poem. . . Not that I am some dorky fan wannabe or any such nonsense, I like knowing that a poem I wrote is seen by the person I created it for. . . . . It is weird seeing the look in their eyes as they realize it is for and about them. And should I be so lucky, if I get it published, I feel like I have given them the poem all over again. I do not know how I Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-81180179074602078462007-04-29T17:12:00.000-05:002007-05-03T11:12:30.676-05:00A Poem for RosieA LETTER TO ROSIE, TRYING TO SAY THANKSDear Rosie: Please don't go.Please do not let your voiceof simple clear resonand pure humanityfade offlike a stagelit sunsetor a Nebraska Winterthat stays pasteven a poet's welcome.Do you know how many livesyou have changed?Not just these 600,000(that number constantly juggledabout by both anchormen and pundits,as if some homeschool equationwill explain awayBrian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-32432067376210137432007-01-28T02:34:00.000-06:002007-01-28T02:36:42.491-06:00Working BoyA beat-up Dodge creeps up the corner, and you think of that guy who just wanted to talk, and you can't believe he still paid. You remember the guy who brought you home, and showed you his Jeff Stryker after he threw you in the harness. You think you see the one that just handed you the money, and pulled your head down in one fell swoop. You watch the fist-fight two doors down, and are Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-52349409197715753572007-01-28T02:32:00.000-06:002007-01-28T02:34:26.566-06:00T.S.It's been nearly a decade since I saw you sniff glue in your downtown apt. Nine years to the day you gave me a bottle of poppers and told me to "cum like a madwoman." Seven years have past, we all got drunk on New Year's and you shared me with your lover. Five years ago, I was doing you on the stairs while he was at work. Sometime last year they tore down Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-10038543880593948472007-01-20T10:03:00.000-06:002007-01-20T10:10:47.772-06:00Get Ready, Gang!Sometime this coming Monday, I am going to post some of what I consider my "top ten" poems, as I am submitting said poetry for an upcoming book of works by Nebraska authors!I am also (finally!!!) putting the finishing touches on my second book/manuscript! I am either going to call it POETRY ON THE HALF-SHELL, or EASTERN NEBRASKA SIMILES. . . . Sorry that it has been so long. . .Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1155451239186531642006-08-13T01:40:00.000-05:002006-08-13T01:40:39.186-05:00"Now where the hell has he been?"Wow! I have not been on here in a while! Things have been strange, and words and I have not been on the best of terms lately.In an effort to find a pain management combo that would give me some relief and still allow me to speak full sentences; I have wound up with a killer case of fatigue, hearing and memory loss, and so much did not seem that important, or even that reachable in my muddled Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1138135511398523632006-01-24T14:43:00.000-06:002006-01-24T14:46:24.100-06:00NEW POEM!! (Yes, I am still around and moving!)Peeling off the SheetsWhen summers in Omahacan still slap on the heatto start the day,I peel off the sheetsand cannot help but thinkof new skin and rebirth;like a struggling poetscratching at the world for some symbol wrapped upin a brand new metaphor, with that desperate hope to finally create one poem that will keep his nameon every student's lips.On quiet nightsI think of the strangerstill Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1132256936143782312005-11-17T13:48:00.000-06:002005-11-17T13:48:56.150-06:00A little gift Holding my Breath Originally uploaded by Poetboyomaha. A dear artist friend and big fan took his favorite poem from my book, FIRST CHILL, and my picture so he could create this beautiful wallpaper for his computer. I wonder how long it took before he got bored of lookingb at my mug. . . .Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1132256360236561232005-11-17T13:39:00.000-06:002005-11-17T13:39:20.276-06:00Morning Face! Oh no! Originally uploaded by Poetboyomaha. Most of my mornings, I have been waking up like this, looking like I have been making a living drinking at weddings, and emptying kegs for wimps at high school parties!I have four poems that are in a holding pattern, and as soon as I get my ass in gear, I promise to put them on here. . .Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1129581192848001682005-10-17T15:28:00.000-05:002005-10-17T15:33:12.856-05:00A little explanation, or "Where the hell have I been?"I sit here, trying to crawl out of the hole of sickness and side effects that has been keeping me trapped in my home and bed for the better part of a month and a half. In the thirteen and a half years I have been positive, I have had so many "episodes" like this. . . And when I really stand back and look at all of this, like some disappointed parent discovering that the kids had yet another Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1124839837132076452005-08-23T18:29:00.000-05:002005-08-23T18:30:37.136-05:00Here is one that I found that really fits!SUMMER NAPSI wish I could bring one of my good summers out for you; then the prickly-sour sweats waking me each July morning might not keep you awake in the humid nights watching me sleep. I wish I could cough up my will to live on the days I catch looks of fear and loss when I close my eyes in the afternoon heat.Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1120587692518820082005-07-05T13:17:00.000-05:002005-07-05T13:21:32.523-05:00A quick note of apology. . .I am so sorry that I have not added anything in such a long time. I have been in the process of moving from one apartment to another (and much smaller) one, and after all of that nonsense, I went to Dallas for a much-needed five day recess from things. As soon as I get my bearings (hopefully by next week), I will start posting again. Thanks to all of you who have read, emailed, and supported my Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1117325140478261172005-05-28T19:01:00.000-05:002005-05-28T19:05:40.483-05:00In Praise of the Other menI see you from the corner of my eye,bloodshot and hazy.You bring the call-drink dowryand make the wedding-for-a-night vowsthat you always open with.We dance,and I watch your perspiration give mean outline of what I will seeif our negotiations work.I look into your eyesfor effect,and to prove my point.Take me home.Rape me to the dance floor beatbefore I even make the coffee.Make our time here Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1116339912287856732005-05-17T09:22:00.000-05:002005-05-17T09:25:12.290-05:00Oh my dear Lord, another new poem!A friend recently asked me why I had not "posted anything new" in a while, and I felt very guilty. Here is a poem about the weird Spring we have had here in Omaha. Yes, it is short, but still, it is newEnjoy!APRIL, 2005Spring is crawling,staggering,and stumbling towards the citythis morning;sleep comes easywhen windchillsplayfully slap around the edges of your skinand the dayis almost donebefore Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1115733049572269362005-05-10T08:48:00.000-05:002005-05-10T08:50:49.576-05:00One of my first. . .This poem was one of the first I had ever written after my diagnosis, and only recently found when I was "digging around" in some old files. Even though so much of my life has changed, much of the feeling remains true. RAINCOATS People tell me of the anger they would have if they were sick. They must think anger is a brand-new raincoat you button up tight Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1113883510282069402005-04-18T19:55:00.000-05:002005-04-18T23:05:10.283-05:00A New Poem!!!This is a new poem I wrote (and rewrote) over the past couple of weeks. I do hope you will all enjoy this:BUMMy dog and I saw him lying therein what could only have been the bodily remainsof one more wasted afternoon;in the early evening lightwe almost thoughthe could be a misplaced coatleft in the park.I could see his cane,let go from his shaking handand resting on the concretelike some twisted Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1112580581889945892005-04-03T21:08:00.000-05:002005-04-03T21:11:26.530-05:00Another old poem. . .This is an old piece I wrote during my first few years of my HIV diagnosis: A Piece of the Plague During these bad days, I wish I could show you my piece of the plague; maybe you would understand my nervous steps as I march on this crumbling road of hovering death and blood. When the fevers come in the Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1112282596574384762005-03-31T09:23:00.000-06:002005-03-31T09:23:16.576-06:00smirksmirk Originally uploaded by Poetboyomaha.This is my most recent picture. . .Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1110860941037467022005-03-14T22:26:00.000-06:002005-03-14T22:29:01.040-06:00An Old ChestnutThis is an old poem about the noon luncheon at our local ASO (AIDS Service Organization), The Nebraska AIDS Project:LuncheonShe's there every week; an infamous Grande dame of every ten-minute "before last call" diorama of missing-cocktail stage and screen; if it's a good day, and the old girl feels up to a personal appearance. Or she doesn't have an appointment at the clinic. Every once in a Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1108741772546407112005-02-18T09:41:00.000-06:002005-02-18T09:49:32.546-06:00One of those days. . .I have been feeling so run down lately, and I wonder if I am doing this to myself. I know that I have not been eating as "good" as I could (and I guess that could be because I have not been using weed that much), and I know that my little "under the table" jobs have been taking their toll, but I sincerely thought I had more energy than this. . .Today, I really hate being HIV positive.Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1108131289136983122005-02-11T08:14:00.000-06:002005-02-11T08:20:31.373-06:00I wish I knew. . .if anyone was reading this. . . I find myself struggling to find time to write, and still make a semblence of a life. I have to clean the homes of others "under the table" in order to supplememt the little bit of income I get from Social Security disability, and lately, my neuropathy and myelopathy (basically nerve damage in the extremities and spinal cord, repectively, from either the Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1106772303403992202005-01-26T15:43:00.000-06:002005-01-26T14:45:03.403-06:00Arms Like Stone WallsI wish you would hold me
with your arms like stone walls
holding back the rising waters
when the rain does not end.
I wish your fingers would brush
through my hair like a breeze
cooling my brow in the summer
when the sun is slow to set.
I wish your strength could save me
and keep me whole like a fire
holding off the winter chill
when the snow starts to fall.
I wish you could Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1105480624390127692005-01-11T15:52:00.000-06:002005-01-11T15:57:04.390-06:00Card GamesWhen you see me,
please do not look
for any inspiration;
I have screamed
at God too many times
and stood on the rock
listening to echoes
of “Why?
Why now?”
I am a simple man
who shares his regrets
like passing the gravy
at a big family dinner.
Do not think
that I am brave,
dreams of coffin lids
slamming shut
still keep me from sleeping.
Don’t try to tell me
that I am strong.
Every afternoon I Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1103384743367973342004-12-18T09:44:00.000-06:002004-12-18T09:45:43.366-06:00Sick DayFirst comes the fevers,
the tips of my body
bathed in fire
and a dripping sweat
that soaks my sheet.
There is a claw
gripping at my chest,
and I try not to see
things in black and white.
My legs scream when I stand.
I have dreams
of loose earth and still air.
Each small sip of water
is a struggle
as if my throat
has become a war zone
and my vision dims
like the last minutes
before the sunriseBrian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1102359866125003052004-12-06T13:02:00.000-06:002004-12-06T13:04:26.126-06:00Holding My BreathYou are holding
my breath.
Each intake of life
and exhale of waste
passes through your fingers
like water
from a faucet.
Your hands fumble
to make a cup
for each drink.
You are watching
my eyes.
The afternoon sunlight
mutes their color
like a child’s blanket
hides the night’s monsters.
You must focus
to see the fear
I am fighting.
I am wrapped
in your arms.
I can feel your strength
protect me
Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1101836711414923482004-11-30T11:45:00.000-06:002004-11-30T11:46:08.410-06:00SideviewSideview Originally uploaded by Poetboyomaha.This is me with the best side-burns I have ever grown. I struggle daily with trying to look well-groomed, and wish I could just stick the damn things on like a magnet. Wouldn't that be a gay man's (or anyone who really tries to look good, but cannot "get it together" unless he has major help 24/7) dream?Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1101750734540947012004-11-29T11:50:00.000-06:002004-11-29T11:55:48.156-06:00A Letter to my Brother DarrinDear Darrin: This year, Winter might be a bit quiet
and I wish you could be here. I bet you do too.
You are on another side of the world again, lost
in a war only the history books will judge. Years
after the blood has seeped into the earth and decades
past the clearing of rubble school kids will stress
over dates, places and names but now I feel my world
skip two beats every time I watch Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1101060882105413562004-11-21T12:02:00.000-06:002004-11-21T12:14:42.106-06:00I wonder if anyone is reading this. . .As I sit here depressed over yet another lonley Sunday morning, I wonder if anyone reads these thoughts I tap out as New Order's "Power, Corruption, and Lies" plays in the background. . . I wonder.
Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1099762808589760352004-11-06T11:36:00.000-06:002004-11-06T11:42:03.576-06:00Another poemHIV MEDITATIONS
I: Waiting to Get the Results
I let the first bus pass me while I smoked,
like the passage of nicotine outweighed my next
destination. I watch the people around me, as
the Omaha skyline accepts another sunset; a
small furry man with crumpled army fatigues
wanders from person to person, reciting his
soliloquy for quarters. He smells like the coffee
plant down by the bank of Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1099762552760619952004-11-06T11:28:00.000-06:002004-11-06T11:35:52.760-06:00So, how does someone get any feedback from this thing? I am just a bit curious.
Recently I joined a wonderful online writing group, Fanstory.com (www.fanstory.com), where I have received such wonderful help with my writing, and some "warm fuzzies" that have really made my day. It is hard to be a writer sometimes, even harder when your passion is poetry. Like I have told many guys I tried to Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1099703759876655082004-11-05T19:15:00.000-06:002004-11-05T19:15:59.876-06:00Current ShotBrian smiling Originally uploaded by Poetboyomaha.And this is me now!Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1099703631475458692004-11-05T19:13:00.000-06:002004-11-05T19:13:51.476-06:00BrianBrian Originally uploaded by Poetboyomaha.this is the best I think I have ever looked.Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1099698774947787132004-11-05T17:51:00.000-06:002004-11-05T17:52:54.946-06:00Okay. . . here is a poemSpots of Brown
Fall didn’t get its chance
this year;
trees only have spots
of passive brown
as if a wind of fire
only brushed past them.
Maybe the season
just slapped them in the face
before it went away.
- Brian E. BengtsonBrian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9012531.post-1099604825180133852004-11-04T15:46:00.000-06:002004-11-04T15:57:09.223-06:00Okay I am going to start this. . .Okay, well, I think I have this thing figured out, and I am going to really make an attempt at doing this with some sort of regularity.
Well, this is what you see about me if you put my name in a search engine. First you have to go to the Nebraska Center for Writers website and click on my name, and you would get this:
Actor, playwright, and poet BRIAN E BENGTSON is a native of Omaha but has Brian, Poet of Omahahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12554055309548693379noreply@blogger.com0